For better or for worse

Scripture:

Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,

Observation:

Some Christians have thought that Paul was negative about marriage because of the counsel he gave in 1 Corinthians 7:32-38. These verses in Ephesians, however, show a high view of marriage. Her marriage is not a practical necessity or a cure for lust, but a picture of the relationship between Christ and his church! Why the apparent difference? Paul's counsel in 1 Corinthians was designed for a state of emergency during a time of persecution and crisis. Paul's counsel to the Ephesians is more the biblical ideal for marriage. Marriage, for Paul, is a holy union, a living symbol, a precious relationship that needs tender, self-sacrificing care.

Paul devotes twice as many words to telling husbands to love their wives as to telling wives to submit to their husbands. How should a man love his wife? (1) He should be willing to sacrifice everything for her, (2) make her well being of primary importance, and (3) care for her as he cares for his own body. No wife needs to fear submitting to a man who treats her in this way.

I am so thankful that Jesus loves us for better or for worse. I am also thankful that He challenges husbands to love their wives in that same way. Let me share a story that really ministered to me when I read it:

Application:

Only 10 months into their marriage, during an otherwise calm Sunday drive to church one July morning, a young Navy couple's car was broadsided by a streaking ambulance racing through an intersection. The driver of the car, R. L. Alford, sustained some minor injuries. But his wife, Hilda, was thrown from the vehicle, suffering a massive head injury that left her not only a quadriplegic, but also legally blind and unable to speak.

That was 50 years ago—50 years of communicating with his wife through little more than the nods of her head. Fifty years of pushing her wheelchair or (his preferred way) carrying her in his arms. Fifty years of emptying her urine pan and cleaning up her bowel movements. And in the last few years, even feeding her through a tracheal tube and learning how to insert her catheters.

Along the way, R. L.'s brand of marital loyalty has drawn some unexpected notice. ("Undeserved," to hear him say it.) When a longtime family friend spearheaded a drive in the mid-'80s to raise funds to build the Alfords a new home, help came from such high-ranking places as Florida governor Bob Martinez, who not only gave them a brand-new refrigerator but also spent a day working at the construction site. President Ronald Reagan sent a check for $500, followed by another for $1,000.

"When R. L. was asked to repeat the vow 'for better or worse,' " a neighbor said, "he heard it real loud. Medically, it's a miracle Hilda is still alive. But she's not alive because of all those doctors. She's alive because R. L. gave his life to her."

In September 2006, the Alfords celebrated their golden anniversary. Looking back, R. L. humbly remarked, "Sure, it's been rough in some ways. But it's been rewarding." Fifty years of being there. May all our promises to each other be that long lasting.

Prayer:

"Lord, I thank You for loving me unconditionally, sacrificially, unselfishly…in other words for better or for worse. In a day when ungodly judges are making decisions against marriage the way You intended marriages to me, may we have MEN who still love their WIFE'S for better or for worse. I thank you for the example that we just read. May we have that same kind of love for our spouses. In Jesus name, amen!"